After finally getting out of my bad mood, I'm in a brown funk again. I'm 18 months late for a tatter's exchange. It came up yesterday. I knew that I didn't want to try & handle it at work; then had to skip out immediately after work (not that I managed to leave the building right away). I didn't get back online until I finally replied earlier tonight.

I spent half an hour or so crying; not pretty little Hollywood tears either. We're talking bawling, red-nose, headache-inducing tears. I'm really, really depresssed again. But I'm really good at hiding it. I've been self-medicating for hours; but I haven't been very successful.

the sad part is..I had the tatting done over a year ago. But every time I go to lay hands on the items and mail them, I get swept with darkness. About the time I signed up for the exchange I got hit with really bad depression. So bad that I couldn't even touch my shuttles for 3 months. Or was it 4. When I finally picked them up, the first thing I really worked on was my exchange projects. And my heart hurts. And my eyes are leaking again. Just typing about it hurts so bad.

I'm a worthless human being. I'm worthless, useless pos. I can't do anythihng right. no one can rely on me. i get everthing wrong. how can anyone like me. i'm crap.

Gaming: We picked up where we left off two weeks ago; with thousands of alien, glowing things scattering out of the excavated spaceship. Our characters found out that the crew was long dead, due to an interstellar disaster. It was a generational colony ship that due to an unfortunate occurrence had suffered racial sterility & died off in a couple generations. The ship was fully automated and the things that the Freedom League had fought had been constructs.

As our heroes learned more about what they had been fighting, and their origins, they got an emergency call. Those things were in Vancouver and we taking apart structures there to build there own. Several people were dead; including the Canadian super hero team. The Northern Guard had destroyed several of the constructs so that the Freedom League were only facing a dozen of the things. There were more still working on the structure but they ignored anyone who did not interfere in their work.

Alas, they managed to finish their structure (1 villain point spent) & sent out a signal. A few days later, something was detected heading for Earth, fast. Is it cynical that when the alien emerged from his ship promising a new golden age all of Freedom League were instantly suspicious?

I did find out that my gamemaster sometimes reads my blog; he found it due to the M&M mentions.

I was a little tired after gaming. When I got home I was feeling a little out of it; so much so that I forgot to lock the door. Geesh.

Work/bus: I was almost late yesterday. There was an accident by my house, right in the bus's route. A sedan T-boned a jeep/SUV, yeah, the sedan looked totaled. The delay was caused by the flatbed tow truck taking it away. The jeep/SUV had a dent in its door; low on its door.

Work: It's been a day already. I took a few last minute things out of my office and checked a few more things before settling down to get some work done. Alas, I had no network connection yet. I tried to use a co-worker's computer; that was a barely mitigated disaster. I finally had to physically turn off the computer to log off. That bad.

I finally got my network set up about 10:30 am. Which is when the movers showed up. So I showed them a few things & got out the elevator key for them to use. It hit noon & I was starving. I got at least two things on my to-do list crossed off before I went to lunch. A good thing, I was starting to get dizzy, at least mentally.

I think that I'll take a nap when I get home. I'm very sleepy.

site of the day (week, month, yadda yadda): Where the hell is Matt dancing? I got to this from Nodwick.

Sight of the day: 3 wrens taking a dust bath; it's just cute.

Work: Packed my office today. Bleah. For the next week I'm relocated. At least I was able to do it in jeans. And I didn't mess up my badly chosen white shirt.

Weather: it's very hot; very, very hot. It's about 15 degrees above normal, I think.

Too hot to think.

Tatting: I finally loaded the 70 beads, plus 10 for safety margin, for the next round of the snood. I've even done the first set of rings & chains. All the rings are the same, 3 b 3 j 3 b 3, but the chains alternate one bead and 2 beads.
And since it's been requested, I'll go ahead & post pictures of Mark's flower, or at least my interpretation. First, here are the 3 flower elements.

Then there are two of the three flowers, attached to the main leaf.

I think my leaf is a little odd. It has 2 veins for one thing. Ah well, It will take practice. I still need to add the other flower and the assorted other greenery. I used the some size 30 that I have and some valdani borrowed from Mark.

weather: 16th day of June with temperatures in the 90's. Last year we only had 13, and it's not even the end of the month yet.

Tatting: the seminar thing with Mark Myers was great. I didn't finish but I made good progress. The Jacobean flower looks good, sort of. It's not as pretty as Mark's, no surprise. My leaf is wider than his, I was less than successful with my joins. But it's not a surprise, all things considered. We all had a great time, tatting and chatting.

Movie: after Anitra & I finished, we met her husband and we went to a special showing of Serenity. I won a t-shirt, how cool is that? I know I've seen the movie before but I really enjoyed seeing it again.

Work: Almost packed at work. My supervisor did a lot of it today. The file cabinets were done but that left most of the shelves, the paper and other supplies, and other stuff. I took down the pictures, the plaques, the awards, and other fragile items. Everything must be done by Thursday afternoon. They'll be moving out the furniture first thing Friday morning. It should make the work situation....interesting, until I can get back into my office again.

Books: nothing new, just re-reading some old favorites.

Victory: I finally managed to change the slideshow so it only shows my pictures.

Tatting: As Sharon said, if I don't publish this person's identification, she could be ripping off other people. So, go to http://www.timelesstattingpatterns.com/ and look through the gallery. See anything familiar? Know the tatter? Let that tatter know. To add to the sadness, a portion of the items in her tatting gallery are actually crochet. Yet she claims to be a tatter.

I finished the Maltese Ring bookmark yesterday & even put on the tassel. I have even taken a couple pictures. Now I need to post them (I'll edit this post or add a new one when I have them).

Books: I read a new one, Dead To Me; urban fantasy quasi-noir. The protagonist is a former psychometric thief (he could read the history of objects -great way to authenticate something). He's given up his criminal ways to join a secret government agency that's understaffed & underfunded; that deals with the weird. There's a 'things that go bump in the night' division for example. A funny thing, I couldn't remember the title so I did a search using these words: fish cultist psychometry NYC. I found it. *snicker*

Work: My office is even more of a disaster area than usual. I've been cleaning out my desk and file cabinets in preparation for the refurbishment. I've done a lot of shredding and tossing. And some packing. Wheeeee.

Flattered & angry: Someone like the picture of the tatted scrunchy that I made so much, that she swiped it for her own tatting gallery. The funny thing is, if she had asked permission or just given credit/given the source, I wouldn't be upset. I would gladly, thrilled & flattered, have given her permission to use the photo, just asked for a little credit ('tatted by' sort of thing). As soon as I found her address, I sent her a polite email requesting that she remove the image. She does have a nice collection of patterns and she's selling a cd of patterns (from what I can tell) but using my image, without credit, is a form of false advertising I feel.

Family: Tonight I go meet Dad & the stepmom for supper. It's just as well. Chris leaves early tomorrow for Ottercon, with Rosemary, so he's sleeping in Raleigh tonight for an earlier start. I have Dad's Father's Day present, I wrapped it this morning. I used one of the 2007 calendars that I bought for a $1 to wrap it. I arranged it so that the lighthouse image is just off center of the front of the package.

Tatting: I finished the Maltese Ring bookmark this morning, despite a broken hook on one shuttle & running out of thread 1 ring & 2 chains short of the end. The rest of the thread on the shuttles will become the bookmark tassel. I'll try to take a picture & add it to my blog tonight. However, that will be after supper.

Gaming: I've almost finished the 4e character that I made as I read the PHB. She's a half-elf fey pact warlock. I went with the deceptive warlock build; a little stereotypical but not bad.

Health: I'm starting to wonder if I'm coming down with something; other than hypochondria, I mean. My mood's way off and I'm massively tired. Everything irritates, even stuff that shouldn't. Bleah.

Work: I got the news today that my boss went into the hospital with double pneumonia. I picked up a card for him at lunch. Most of the people in the office have signed it; I'll need to see who I missed yesterday.

Tatting: I started to work a little on the Maltese ring bookmark. I'm almost done, but I broke the hook on the tatting shuttle. I had to put it away, just too frustrating.

I rarely wax philosophical in my posts, not sure why. Am I too light-minded? Do I just not feel like sharing with the entire internet? Do I just not feel like all that typing? I honestly don't know.

Mood: Irritable. I have been touchy and just downright ill for the past day & a half. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to talk and I don't even want to read. It's the wrong time of the month to blame it on hormones. I think I'm battling depression again.

Gaming: We played another couple sessions in the Greyhawk Ruins series yesterday. Thanks to some lucky die rolls (initiative & the barbarian critting), the fights often only lasted a round or two. There was one that lasted about seven but we just walked over most of it. Having a barbarian two-handing, power-attacking a waraxe makes a difference in the fights.

Richard liked his Witch Hunter book and Joe finally remembered that he hadn't given me a present. He gave me a B&N card, cool.

Tatting: I almost finished the Maltese Ring bookmark. I'm on the 2nd edge.

Holiday: I sent an ecard to my brother & father, plus one for Richard as a new dad.

Weather: Okay, there's a forest fire a couple hundred miles east, but it's 40K acres and the wind is blowing this way. It didn't just cause haze & it's not just smelly. It actually made it a little harder to breathe this morning. And I'm not sensitive.

Tatting: Here's a snowflake pattern that I want to try. I was doing the Maltese ring wrong. So I've started the bookmark over.

Gaming: Mutants & Masterminds tonight. At least one player, my ride, won't be there. She has to work tonight until 8 pm (plus clean up). I will rush home tonight & then drive to David's for the game. Not so whee.

Per the What D&D Character are you
I Am A: Neutral Good Human Druid/Wizard (3rd/2nd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-12

Dexterity-11

Constitution-11

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-12

Charisma-13


Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Primary Class:
Druids gain power not by ruling nature but by being at one with it. They hate the unnatural, including aberrations or undead, and destroy them where possible. Druids receive divine spells from nature, not the gods, and can gain an array of powers as they gain experience, including the ability to take the shapes of animals. The weapons and armor of a druid are restricted by their traditional oaths, not simply training. A druid's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that they can cast.


Secondary Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)



detailed results:
Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (25)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (22)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (21)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXX (5)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXXX (7)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXX (5)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Chaos --- XXXXXXX (7)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Evil ---- (0)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXX (6)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXX (8)
Half-Orc - XX (2)

Class:
Barbarian - (-8)
Bard ------ (0)
Cleric ---- (0)
Druid ----- XXXXXX (6)
Fighter --- (-2)
Monk ------ (-23)
Paladin --- (-21)
Ranger ---- XX (2)
Rogue ----- (0)
Sorcerer -- (-2)
Wizard ---- XXXXXX (6)

Tatting: I'm taking a break from the snood to work on the eTatters June challenge from the monthly challenge group. I'm trying to make a Maltese ring bookmark. I'm not certain that I'm doing it right. It looks a little odd. 

  Weather: It's 'cooler' today. By that, the weather folks don't think it will hit triple digits, just the mid-90's. Whoop ti freaking do. Still skirt weather as far as I'm concerned. At least we're not getting hit with tornadoes. 

  Poetry: I entered a haiku into a little contest, haikus were on a specific theme. I entered three & they chose one to compete against other entries. I got runner up. Not bad for a haiku about records management. And the people who got them said that they really enjoyed them and they will probably show up in the newsletter. (haikus are below) 

  Computer game: I'm playing Virtual Villagers 3. I lost 1 & 2 when my hard drive crashed but at least I'd finished them. I also have the other usual suspects; Diner Dash (almost done, again - new link with the demise of Flash - https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash), Fashion Solitaire, all 3 Carrie the Caregiver games and a couple find the object games. I really like the ones that I can try first. I've only gotten burned twice in that after an hour the game sucked. One was Nanny Mania. The other 2 levels were basically repetitions of the 1st one. Bleah.

Retention schedule? What is it and where is ours? Oh; this is quite old.

These records are old. Check the retention schedule, Then shred what should be.

one entry:

Shred these records, now. Can't, schedule says they're not old. Two more years, then shred.

And the winner:

We have a schedule? Yes, we do; have you seen it? Do you follow it?

Quick note: talking to MM on the phone tonight. Now MM is an incredibly smart guy, I mean scary smart. However, I have, on a few occasions, scared him with my thought processes; mostly because I think very differently than he does (the whole linear vs. intuitive thing).

The example that he brought up - he's running a game and there's some peculiar situation. He gives me a clue to solve it. The clue: dog on a dunghill. He said that I thought about it for about 20 seconds and then piped up, "Odysseus." Scary part? That was the right answer. It had been a question on a Western Literature course & it had baffled him. The fact that I got it right with no context is what freaked him. At that point he started wondering whether we were even the same species.

I wonder if anyone really reads my posts. This is after all an on-line journal. It's more for my own thoughts and memories than for anyone's perusal. Still, I wonder.

Anyway.

Tatting: I am working on the Workbasket snood again. My first attempt, after 3 rounds, is suitable for a doll and nothing else. It fits quite well over my fingertip. It will nowhere near hold my hair. This time, I'm doing a better job of reading the pattern & looking at the picture. That makes a huge difference. Right now, I'm tatting off the thread on the shuttle. It's not enough for the next round so I'm making some butterflies.

I wanted to join Jane E's Tat It And See but I didn't have a button. I may well try it later.

Mark Myers, aka Tatman, will be in the area in 2 weeks to teach his Jacobean Flower Spray. I need to send my money to the organizer for my share of the costs (including food and his travel).

Books: I am so ashamed. I broke down & bought 4E D&D books.

I've been reading Thrift Score & re-reading old favorites recently. Despite have 3 spiffy birthday books to read, I've been going to standbys instead.

Family: I went to visit Mom this past weekend. I hadn't seen her since April. May was a nuts month for me. She bought me a birthday present, despite the fact that I reminded her that my TomTom was a Christmas/birthday present already. She bought me a couple 1gig thumb drives ($8 at Big Lots) & a hands free earpiece for my phone.

I've been helping her clean out her apartment. She's a child of the Depression and has the hoarding mentality so common in that generation. However, she's come to the realization that she's 70 & will not live long enough to use all that shampoo/soap/etc. So we've been packing up stuff to go to charitable organizations (nursing home, Salvation Army, etc).

Mom's getting older. She got tired after only an hour of sorting and cleaning. The heat may have contributed, as her AC still is not fully functional. Despite all that, we got a lot done.

I talked to Dad on the phone, he called Sunday after I got back home. He & Kathy bought me a case for my TomTom. I've dropped it a couple times; that's why I asked for a case. I don't leave it my car, so it's often going back & forth and risks being dropped again.

Weather: I've been wearing skirts recently. It's been a record setting heat wave, hit the century mark in the heat index and sometimes in actuality. It's too [string of expletives deleted] early for it to be this hot. Even my handfan isn't helping, maybe I should carry a spray bottle.

Saw the movie Iron Man. It rocked. Make certain to watch through the credits. I still want to see Speed Racer, Prince Caspian and Indiana Jones.

Went to Animazement, ran 2 Jadeclaw games. It's been almost a decade since I went to a fan con. It's different than a gaming con.

Went to ConCarolinas. Got 6 hours of sleep Thursday, 4 Friday, 4 Saturday and 6 on Sunday. Monday I was fried. I drove down to the con after leaving work at noon. Drove home again Sunday after the last game. I'm just glad that I got home safely.

Read some good books recently; Prophecies of the Flame, Skinny Dipping, the last in the Broken Heart Oklahoma series, etc.