Friday, October 20, 2006

Confession time: I'm depressed. I have been for about a month. It's not a 'danger to myself' or even a 'just give up & die' sort. It's closer to a funk. I can still get to work, it's just a little harder. It's harder to do the things that I know are good for me; exercise & proper diet. It's hard even to do some of the things that I love to do; on-line roleplaying & typing notes for my home rpg's.

I even have episodes of happiness; but sooner or later, the funk comes back. There are signs that I have learned to recognize: I want to sleep more, I get more obsessive about reading, and I want more sugar & chocolate for chemical reasons & not my sweet tooth.

All I can do is keep looking for the good in things; life, friends and so on. Although maybe if I had a good cathartic cry that would help, too.

today's outfit: soft, black polo I got on sale from Sear's; black slacks I found at GCI (need to be hemmed but today I made do with double-sided tape - & I swear these fit me bettern when I bought them, today I think I need a belt); black loafers that are going into the trash when I get home (I can see the big toe on my right foot); small Celtic earrings, Celtic knot ring, rope band ring, Celtic andromorph pendant on long silver chain & ponytail.

Gaming: Mutants & Masterminds last night. Good game, my character Totem has a new move, thanks to Cybernaught. She stands between two assailants & get them to shoot each other. We rescued the Mayor & other dignitaries of the city & caught Warden.

Wanna go curl up & cry now.

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