Friday, December 13, 2019

The blues

I've been struggling, mentally and emotionally. I need to get in the habit of posting something, once a week, it helps.
Here's that shrug I made for my mom again. Bright, cheerful colors.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

A Poem (by me)

I'm Not Poor
My underwear has holes,
"Still a lot of good wear left"
As I toss them in the laundry.

My winter boots' heels are run down,
"I can take them to the cobbler"
It will cost less than a new pair.

My work shoes are four years old,
"These shoes are still comfortable"
Until they aren't, then I'll buy inserts.

My bag has a tear in it,
"I can mend that"
Hide it with a patch I got at the museum.

My car is old enough to get its own license,
"The repair bills are less than a new car payment"
But there's less and less maintenance I can do myself.

But I'm not poor.





Monday, December 02, 2019

I had a dream this morning

And this is the dream I had:


I was working (somewhere) & got some time off unexpectedly. A friend had gone out of town (to a resort?) for a waitress gig at a special event & I followed after to see if I could pick up some hours. 

The place was booked for a fashion/avant garde art event. I saw my friend (Abby B) already working; she was surprised & not entirely pleased to see me. I wasn’t going to be able to stay in her room (that's part of why she wasn’t happy) because she already was sharing with someone.  And I realized I didn’t have the proper waitstaff clothes with me anyway (white shirt, black pants).

The event had started. Rich people attended the party and the models and walking art and performers mingled among them.

The organizer/designer saw me, and while they didn’t need any more waitstaff, she thought they could use me as one of the walking art people. She told me who to talk to. 

I went to the front desk to find out about a room, and said I’d gladly share with someone. The 3 desk staff (Latinx) looked at me blankly, but the manager (Filipino) was on a couch in a lobby seating area nearby and came over to help. She warned me to be cautious but thought she had someone she could ask.

She took me a to a room with 3 little people (1 looked like Phil Fondacaro, something I noticed & almost remarked upon), 2 men & 1 woman. They agreed to let me share the room. The two men would share a bed & I’d share with the woman. Their troupe was Gnomic Illusions & they were performance artists. They had their gear along the walls of the room. The designer provided my costume & these three did the rest. They did my makeup, which involved painting an idyllic park scene from my eyebrows down. Above, I had a bald cap, and the make up became black & white like an adult coloring book with lots of small images. I’d fallen asleep while they were doing my makeup so it was a surprise to see the image, especially with the bald cap. Except, they hadn’t gotten my long hair under the cap. They were trying & woke me up. But I’ve got so much hair they couldn’t just tuck my hair up. So I suggested braiding my hair so it looked like I just had these 2 braids from the back of my head, and they could be wrapped or some cord braided in so they looked fake.

One of the men (not ~Phil) was demonstrating this new technique he’d invented, for wearable effects. It involved something like latex, but he poured it onto one of the beds, mixed the colors, did something else, and then peeled this textured piece off the bed. The person who was supposed to wear it rejected it, but I volunteered. It would go on my back, filling in the low back of my dress. It breathed better than latex and the texture resembled crochet on the outer surface, and it was completely smooth on the inner.

That’s when I realized, I didn’t have the right shoes either. I was stressing about it and one of the performers dragged me out of the room and showed me other people walking around barefoot, both guests and performers. 

Then the performers did a march/strut/parade through the ground floor areas to the song “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman. One of the folks leading the parade grabbed me as she passed me, and we went arm & arm. Her other hand held a feather fan & I wished I’d grabbed my lace fan.

About this time the radio alarm clock finally penetrated my sleep and I woke up.