Almost time....

Map of NC/SC has been acquired. Triptik from AAA has arrived. Car is empty. Clothes are packed. I did my tatting homework (loading shuttles and beads) as almost the last thing. I am missing 2 things; a button and some felt.

With four people in the car, I'm having to choose what to take instead of just dumping an assortment of tatting thread and beads into a bag. However, I have 3 bags (plus) instead of two. One bag is clothes, one is for tatting and one is my purse. It's a good sized purse and I could carry it on my lap. Except I'm driving. The plus is a couple bags of tins, plus a bag for "The Poncho" and decoy. Oh, I just remembered, my item for the white elephant swap. I have it wrapped (yay, gift bags), but I need to make sure it makes it to the car.

I modeled it after I won last year

It was pouring down rain last night so I waited until this morning to pack my car. I packed in the basement (more room to spread out my threads and supplies) and I went out the back door. Shockingly, after the rain last night, the grass is very wet. My sandals have no traction. Fwump! Full face plant. My hands and knees are a little sore and my jeans are damp. I'm waiting for my sandals to dry before I put them back into my suitcase (as secondary shoes).

I went to the dentist last week and to give myself something to take my mind off my mouth, I tatted. I pulled out size 10 thread, loaded 3 bobbins, and tatted flowers. Here's one bundle of the ones I made.

I mailed my Dad's birthday present and it arrived the same day they got home. He didn't have that DVD (marines in WWII) so he seemed please. His birthday is not until this weekend but he opened it early.

I have Anitra's present. I found another "lace" covered journal for her. Actually, I found a small sketchbook and a journal. I also found the tiny beads my Aunt Dot gave me. They're smaller than what I commonly use, but Anitra uses that size.

I painted my nails. My throat was a little sore last night, so I was sucking on a cough drop. I wanted to wait until I finished it before I went to sleep. My finger and toenails are now silver glittery. Too bad one thumb nail decided to tear off, almost to the quick. My nails were decent before that. Oh well.

Depression

hit me hard this week. Stress is part of it. My car died and budgeting for car payments is scary.

This night though, tonight got very rough. C was out tonight, it's our separate night. That's cool. But tonight, on G+ someone mentioned reading the eulogies for a deceased colleague and wondering what hers would say, what contributions has she made.

Me? I'm a secretary. I'm a pretty good one but not even a top secretary. I haven't made any great impact. The world would barely even ripple at my passing. Depression tells me how better off everyone would be if I weren't here anymore. Don't worry, I won't commit suicide. That's too much effort. Lots of people suffer depression, if more people are open about, maybe there'll be less stigma.

I've been doing my self care since my car died. I knew it was having a negative impact. I've had that car for twenty years. I've avoided reading negative or upsetting news in depth, are every meal, even went outside for some nature therapy, and tried to walk more.

Sorry if this is disjointed. I'm not at my best right now. But here, it's my new nails.

And an iris

I think that my fingernails are committing suicide, now. I had one tear off at the cuticle. Even with a bandaid on all day, it still hurts. And the ones that remain are so thin that I can't even open 'open this with your fingernail' fasteners. *whimper* Maybe I need more sage & gelatin in my diet.

Mom stopped by on her way home today. She couldn't stay long though, or she'd get caught in football traffic. And that is not something that anyone wants to mess around with/in/etc.

I managed to get the entry way a little better. And fill up one small box of books to take to the USB. Plus another small box to go to a thrift shop (shoes and Christmas lights). Now I can find my rack of shoes, instead of one small portion. I still need to do something with the books there, though. I need to do a more thorough gleaning.

Who turned on winter? It's about 20F below seasonal right now. That's just 'unnatural' for an excessively loose definition of 'unnatural' of course. I've been cold pretty much all day.

I need to go now. I still have a character to create for tomorrow's game.

Fingernails: I have broken four, or more I kind of lose track, this week alone. I wonder if it's the dryness in the air. Goodness knows I've been drinking water like it's about to be banned.

Health: I'm torn, is there really something wrong with my jaw (it hurts a little and it's more painful when I open my mouth wide to eat) or am I being a hypochondriac again. And which is worse; to be a hypochondriac or to be a self-aware hypochondriac? This is also my third day with this headache. Or maybe it's been three different headaches, just sequential.

Saturday, mom is stopping by on her way home from visiting her sister. I hope that she found me some sheets to use for chemises (old cotton sheets are the best). Sunday, I'm going to the used book store before having lunch with friends and playing some more LFR.

Gaming: Living Forgotten Realms on Sunday. I almost forgot. I need to have my halfling,ahem 'scuse me Drow, rogue, Black Raspberry Chocolate Tracks, written up by then. Looking at halflings in 4E, they are wimpy. They're small and their weapon damage sucks. So Chris & Rosemary had the idea of creating the Tracks family. It's a large family of halflings who claim to be really, really short drow. One Rosemary's character is a warlock with the Dark Pact (pact made with Drow, I think). Chris's ranger has burnt cork smeared, unevenly, over his face and I can't remember if his white wig is constantly crooked, or if he bleaches his hair. I'll find out Sunday. I haven't fully decided upon my rogue's peculiarities yet. Although I think I'll have her jealous of her cleric younger brother (he's already 5th level, or so I hear).

Weather: It's almost warm today. It's clear, hit 50F and very little wind. It's not going to last, though.

Definitely needed my sleep last night; at least, based on the fact that I slept an extra hour leads me to believe that to be the case. I did have a dream though. This morning, we watched cartoons and vegged a bit. I also finished my laundry.

My fingernails are a mess though. I have maybe two that are better than decent. The rest are short and irregular. Even with filing, they're 'eh.' And most of my nails are so short; again. Ah well.

tv: Doctor Who was really good last night. I wasn't really in the mood for any other tv, and I was tired, so I went to bed early. And I slept late. Today, I finally saw Austin Powers: Goldmember, or most of it. The Batman cartoon was one of the coldest ever, Superman & Batman were one-lining each other.

books: I've started Fortune's Stroke, now and finished The Marriage Spell this morning.

tatting: I redid the bauble, using a plastic bead instead of a marble and it looks good. I did a josephine chain for the strand. I think I'll put it on a lobster clip to use as a zipper pull.

clothes: Gran March BI t-shirt, cotton lounging pants, Celtic knot ring, star/moon/tree pendant, hematite ring, blue bead on silver wire bracelet, chain mail earrings & plaited hair.

Interesting day; in several ways. I hit the snooze bar (stayed up too late listening to music & playing computer games) and then slept half ah hour instead of 9 minutes. I got out the door, barely in time. I did make it to catch the bus without having to run.

Alas, my efforts were in vain. I caught the bus & the bus got caught in a traffic jam. Apparently there was an accident & we were delayed, um I'd estimate 25 minutes. Since my boss had seen the accident on the way into work himself he knew that I'd be late.

books: I finished ready An Oblique Approach from the Baen library last night and finished Magic Lost, Trouble Found on the way to work. I read the 3rd volume of Wallflower at lunch & started String of Lies. I started re-reading Marriage Spell for my bedside book last night.

I started watching tv last night, realized that there was nothing on that I was in the mood to watch & just shut it off. Listening to music on my laptop (from my cds) was nice. I had a nice supper of leftovers. I should have looked over my Mutants & Masterminds character, Totem, though. I'll try & do that tonight.

Chris is going to be late, working. So I'll start supper and we can eat as soon as he gets home. I'll also need to finish my laundry. I got the load of jeans & towels done last night but only put in the white/delicates this morning.

I finally clipped my nails, too. After the right thumbnail pretty much shredded, I decided that I needed to do some clipping so I could control how short my nails got; instead of tearing them off at the quick.

Another cool day; I'm hoping for more rain. There were leaves on the sidewalk today. I think it's not solely from the shorter days & the cooler temperatures (it's only down into the 50's after all), I think that the drought is partially responsible. I fear that the autumnal colors will be subdued this year.

sight of the day: some really huge honking mushrooms in one of the planters. Apparently, the groundskeepers have watered the rosemary & mint there enough to encourage some beautifully large fungus.

clothes: ~slippers, black jeans & polo, tatted necklace & earrings, black stone ring, black glass bead bracelet, clip watch, & hair up in ponytail/bun, held with reddish wood hairstick.

Dentist: Almost forgot that I have an appointment this morning. I'm stressing over it, plus I have a headache.

Painted my fingernails last night. They are now Reaction frost, a frosty pink color. I bought it when I tried to grow long fingernails last year or so. It didn't work then. But now that they are a little long, I decided to see if nail varnish helps or not. You can see where my left index fingernail is shorter than the rest.









Another SPF30+ day. Hey, it's summer, what a shock.

Once again, the breaker for my room tripped. I had to go reset it about bedtime. That's no fun.

books: Read Bloodbound on the way home. Read it all the way through before bedtime. Finished making an Exalted character.

TV: watched X-Play & Veronica Mars. I didn't recognize any of the games covered in X-Play. The focus of Veronica Mars was someone who was a child soldier in Uganda. After the show, they had a brief PSA about invisible children organization.

Two deaths yesterday: Martin Luther King, Jr's oldest Yolanda King & Rev Jerry Falwell.

clothes: grey polo; black jeans, socks, loafers & belt; hematite ring; flower band; moss agate bracelet; chainmail earrings; paui shell pendant necklace, paui shell ring and my hair in a ponytail.

Keys update: Rosemary found them in her yard Monday. That helped just loads.

Silk blouse update: tie-bleach didn't work.

books: Read Pleasure for Pleasure over lunch & on the way home. I've had it for awhile & just hadn't read it before. Started reading a little of Seeress of Kell again.

fingernail: that broken fingernail ripped the rest of the way this morning. At least it wasn't painful. Now I have 9 decently long fingernails & one very short one.

Today I have errands to run. The roto-rooter guy says that he has to call to get an appointment to get the guy who checks for leaks to come out.

I need to go drop off plastic bags, used books & stuff for the thrift shop. Plus, I need to find at least three tank tops to go under my new blouses. I'd like to stop by the bead store & the thread shop. I want to go see Anitra, too.

Fingernails: I've taken pictures of my nails to show what 'long' fingernails look like for me. They're not really long but for me, they are.









This is the poor, broken nail (after some healing) or at least the best picture that I could get.









website of the day: The little brown dress

Starting to make plans for ConCarolinas. I've submitted the game that I'm running (Ironclaw) and asked for most of Friday off.

clothes: black 'ballet' shoes, socks (later removed), black slacks & belt, mauve & black check blouse, Celtic knot earrings, ring & pendant, hash mark ring, hematite ring, & ponytail (held by an elastic hidden by bronze/silver hair ornament).

Sight of the day: Cross Pattee tattoo (the one on the far left) between ankle & Achilles tendon on a young man's foot/ankle.

site of the day: worth 100 is a gallery of photo shop artists.

Contest of the day: Science Idol; enter a cartoon or vote for one.

fingernail update: Wearing the band aid salvaged the nail long enough that I could clip it this weekend without doing further injury to myself. That fingernail is now absurdly short. It's especially noticeable since the other nails are long enough to project beyond my fingertips.

books: Started Glossed and Found. Maybe I'll finish it at lunch.

tatting: Finished up the multi-color Lyn Morton flower that I started yesterday. Finished off the thread from the shuttle by doing two butterflies & about 4 flowers. Pulled out a spool of burgundy silk. I've done the central ring but I've run into trouble on the 1st set of chains. I need to play with the picots on the ring, they're playing games.

clothes: black loafers, socks & jeans with white polo (chain edging on collar & cuffs), Celtic knot earrings, small pendant & ring, hematite ring, & spoon ring with patronymic initial etched on it. It's from plateware so it turns my finger green. That's why I don't wear it often.

Fingernail: I didn't mention that the first thing I did when I arrived at work yesterday was rip a fingernail. I don't mean just a 'oh dear, I'll have to file that', I mean, 'ack, that's a spot of blood where the nail has tried to part from the nail bed'. It's a little sore but I immediately put (& kept) a band aid on it to keep it from getting worse. It won't actually heal, but maybe it will heal enough that I can clip the nail someday.

blood donation: I failed. My hemocrit was a full 3% too low. Then I suddenly realized why. I'm a post-puberty, pre-menopausal female & it happens once a month. For me, it started yesterday. Very bad timing.

Retail therapy: I indulged in some retail therapy. I needed the light bulbs, yes. The gel pens? Sort of. The children's cardboard books? At a dollar, it's nice to have some small children's presents on hand. The doll? It's perfect for Kelly's baby (fingers crossed, due any day now). The shoes? The ballet slipper type go with gauze skirts better than loafers do (I'm wearing them today). The document holder? It was $1 & even if it doesn't hold the steel sqwire spell templates better than the other holder does, maybe it will hold those 'campaign documention' stuff I need for LG.

Books: I finally read Framed in Lace (I've had it for months). In this one, the important clue was bobbin lace. They also mentioned tatting, knitted lace & crocheted lace. Very nice. I also read vol 1 of Shugo Charra!.

Tatting: Saturday I'll be at Harmony Hall doing a Historical Demo. I need to find my copy of Flitting Fingers. I also need to check my clothes. I know where my c. 1810 outfit is but it desperately needs ironing (& maybe some febreze due to a laundry room accident). I need to know where my 1780ish outfit is, too. I should wear that; it's just so warm.

clothes: turquoise skirt (tiered, cotton), lighter turquoise net/crochet sweater over poly shell, black ballet slip-ons, moonstone ring, hematite ring, rainbow moonstone pendant but forgot the earrings. Hair is loose because I just didn't want to bother.

car: I (with Chris's help) finally got the milk can stool from my dad out of my car. It was too heavy for me to get by myself. While I was at it, I got out a box and a couple bags. I can even see the floor behind the passenger seat again.

I clipped my nails yesterday after that pinkie nail broke again. One thumbnail is till long enough to see over the end of the thumb, but the rest are just long enough to have white beyond the quick.

clothes: t-shirt & jean, navy loafers. The tee is a white one that my aunt gave me; it's Miami parks & rec staff shirt & not something that she wanted to give anyone who actually lives in Miami.

books: I'm trying to read Mind Pool by Charles Sheffield but I'm having a hard time getting into it. So I turned to Blame It on Cupid by Crusie.

fingernail: I don't know how or exactly when I did it. But just after noon, I noticed the nail on my left pinkie was ragged. Apparently, I tore/broke clean off. If it hadn't been ragged, I wouldn't have noticed because there's still a little bit of nail past the nail bed.

weather was surprisingly warm today. I only need the sweater, etc. I took off my jacket. Although, the wind was a little sharp.

Lunch activities: I finished one letter to an aunt, started another, read a little, decided getting past/around the people doing inventory was too much trouble to find a gel pen of the right sort, and flipped through a copy of Shojo Beat.

No raptor this morning. There was a dark clump in that tree, but I think that it was squirrel nest.

Fingernails: The number shorter than yesterday due to chipping, clipping or ripping is 7. I only clipped 2 really, the others either ripped or I chipped & then clipped. Only the middle finger on my right hand has a fingernail of anything resembling length. My left thumbnail is the shortest; showing only a thin line of white nail beyond the nail bed.

Gaming: Mutants & Masterminds last night. Only three of us showed (Diana's out of town & Rosemary had night call) but we continued along the plotline anyway. Dave sent us 'news items' from Freedom City yesterday to help prepare us for the events of the evening. Supervillains that we'd captured had been released thanks to the unconstitutional treatment by the previous prison warden. So we had to fight them again. We got lucky and took two of the hardest out quickly. The others were giving us problems. But while my character is beaten & bloody, so is one of the three remaining on their side (they started with 5, we had 3). And Wraith is creating more duplicates & that always helps.

Books: I finished NtFbF, finally. It was okay. Maybe if I'd read straight through it would have been better. I like the protagonist pretty well so I don't know what my problem with the book was. I've started Shakespeare's Champion. I took the department car to be inspected so I had extra time to read morning (waiting for transport back to office).

It's really the 2nd book in the series so I don't know why it wasn't listed in the ealier books, ie Shakespeare's Trollop. They're a mystery series set in Shakespeare, Arkansas. The protagonist is Lily Bard, a rape survivor who cleans houses and works out. Due to her experiences, she's definitely different. I kind of like her.

clothes It's cool but not as cold today but I still decided to wear a turtleneck & vest. The turtleneck is Carolina blue and the vest is navy corduroy embroidered with flowers, vines & leaves in tan, cream, sage, pale blue & lilac (the flower petals are filled in with the lilac, cream & blue). It goes well with the navy slacks and dark brown loafers. The navy trouser socks are barely visible. I went with the Celtic anthromorph pendant on one of my longer silver chains, plus Celtic knot ring & ~celtic knot earrings. On the other hand I'm wearing a braided silver ring. Since I washe d my hair this morning my bangs actually look good. I braided my hair to keep it out of the way. It won't dry but at least it won't be making my back cold.

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Vent Ahead: I have very brittle nails, a trait that I inherited from my mother. I keep them short (no longer than the tips of my fingers) to prevent breakage & splits. Last week I broke both thumbnails, partially or almost to the quick. They have just now begun to recover.

This morning, I jammed my index nail again a cabinet door & it completely tore. The only nail left is that covering the nail bed. It doesn't hurt (other than the unaccustomed pressure of fingertip no longer protected by fingernail) but it's just so annoying.

I just needed to vent about this minor annoyance. Losing the thumbnails was worse, it made it more difficult to tat (shoving knots into place & neatening them as I went).

Today's outfit: soft, black knit polo; faded black cotton slacks; black tassle loafers; nude knee hi's (too cold for sockless this morning, too warm for socks this afternoon); black stone ring; flat silver rope band, small labdourite pendant on silver chain; braided hair w/ a black elastic; & 'silver' & black bead earrings round black bead on double loop wire that connects from earwire to 2 duplicate double loop wires [with sead bead, faceted bead & seed bead] that each hold one end of a 'silver' bas relief crescent, set with a centered fasceted bead, that dangles 5 faceted beads).

My bangs are still very short from last weekend's chop. I swear I cut them even with the tops of my glasses. The lighter weight allows them to spring up & only reach halfway to my eyebrows, if that.

Tatting: I finished my fair entry, almost. I need to add the other end of the toggle fastener to the bracelet, cut loose ends & block all the pieces. I also need to buy display supplies (black velvet & foamboard) & see in which category tatted jewelry belongs.

This weekend, I bought a little more thread & a lot more beads. I have some great ideas for jewelry. I've started a pale & paler purple necklace for Linda's Christmas present. She adores purple & I made her purple snowflake earrings last year.

*snarl mildly* I broke my right index fingernail Sunday. As in, if I let it break completely off it will take skin with it. So I put a band-aid (adhesive plaster) to hold it on & protect it. This fabric one is staying on real well, had it since Monday. But I cannot tat with it on. I need to wait a minimum of one week before even peeking to see how the nail is doing. *sigh*

On the bright side, I found that missing shuttle case. It was tucked into my purse. Since I checked that pocket at least twice, I wonder how it got there.